Enxian
♥ Varat
♥ HelloKitty, Singing
The girl who laughs and talks alot and seems very happy, is also the girl who might cry herself to sleep someday. She has a weird attitude and gets emotional easily. She bottles up her feelings and would think negatively at times. She gets hurt not just once, but more than that, but she managed to go thru th obstacles and became stronger. Because she found an amazing boyf thats willing to love her wholeheartedly. Love her without fear, trust her without doubts. Dont ever judge her because of that. Everyone leads a different live. Put yourself in her shoes and you will understand her someday. Nobody is perfect, she's not perfect either. She believes in miracles. Do you ?
Shesays
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Saturday, September 3, 2011
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Singalong
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Dear Varat,
so yeahh, wednesday i quarrelled with your bestfren? And then wht, you came looking fer me. You texted me, called me. And i was like, omg. I wanted t reply so so so much, but then i also scared and idk if i shld?.. Then when i finally replied you and after you told me wht you wanted t say, i just replied 'ohh, okay.' and i didnt expect you t reply "text me when you okay ba." i still thought tht day, it will be th end fer us. Neither did i expect you t ask me out. Tht's why i replied you "you sure you're asking me out?" Im so happy yeahh (: Then th next morning, you even auto text me, like once in a blue moon you know. Then you also text me after sch, wahh. So happy huh. Finally, i decided t meet. Im veh afraid tht i made th wrong choice. Cox no one knows wht th future holds. Wht if things turn worst after th outing? Wht if you asked fer patch? Sigh.. You treated me like girlf, and we behaved like a new couple. I really really enjoyed it, (: I miss you badly baby. But when you keep saying "how i wish we can be like last time" and i keep saying "we can." but you keep saying not anymore.. I alr knew tht you didnt wann t patch. Tht's why in th theatre, i told you "if you really have no intention of patching anymore, then we shldnt contact each other anymore. If you still wann t be frens, give me my time t forget bout us." And there you went silent, and you asked me "isnt it good tht we remain like this?" I will never be able tell you wht i mean by a "relationship" After th movie, i tried t distance myself frm you alr. Cox idw t put too much emotions into it cox i know we'll be seperated again. And tht it will be super long till we went out like this again... But then, we quarrelled while otw home. I was feeling damn terrible tht time, i feel like, okay, i regretted going out with you. But then i know i enjoyed and i didnt regret. Then when we're walking t th bus stop, i just took up th courage and asked, "why did you even come back t me again? I thought we're supposed t end on wednesday. You shld just let me go and dont be frens anymore." And when i asked you "So, we really have no more chance t patch anymore?" And you said "no." And then after afew secs, you said "actually i just need more time, but if you really cant wait anymore, tell me." You know im always waiting varat, you know. You know my feelings fer you wont fade so easily, you know. And then you lied t me, you said you're going home. But you went t meet her.. Sigh.. But! When we talked on phone after tht, you just tell me "i wont lie t you anymore, this will be th last time. I wont be so close with her anymore. And she's doing good with her boyf. Dont worry." And tht's when i decided t say out all my feelings again. Im glad t know tht you're really listening t me. Really. You told me "i can only remember th bad things tht happened btw us, not th good things at all." And im like "i can only remember th happy moments, i cant even remember why we used t quarrel so much fer." And i said it's cox you only remember th bad things tht's why you always said we cant be th same anymore. And becox i always think of th good things tht's why im still holding on. It just seems like, our love had never stopped before. So when we're bout t hang up, you said "i love you" omg. I heard it, but i pretended i didnt and then you never say again le ): But you told me t call you th next morning when i wake up (: And so i did, and then you even text me after you woke up. Woah. And th next thing i knew was, "En Xian, i love you! And i miss you badly. ):" i swear im so fucking happy. I swear i thought it was just a dream. Omg. and when i texted you "is tht fer real? Is tht really you who posted it?" And when you replied, "yes!!! (: it's real darling" Woahhh.. I couldnt believe it. But then you like dont really wann t tok t me alr? Till now i've been waiting fer you t call or text me, but you didnt.. ): Wht happened again? Please dont tell me you changed your mind? Anyway, im really happy fer th past few days everytime when i recieved a text frm you! I bet now you know tht. I really miss you alot dear, but i always didnt wann t tell you cox im afraid i wont even get a reply. And i love it when you asked me "do you still love me?" I really like it. I hope one day when i asked you tht too, you can just reply me "yeahh, i always do (:" But of cox fer now, i didnt wann t tok bout it. I just wann t let you have your own time t think bout it and tell me when you're ready. And i just love th way you took th initative t kiss me, hold my hand, hug me first. I really do, i cant deny i dont miss those times.
Love you baby.
do you love me ? , :D
10:26 PM
10:26 PM